Add that shit to the list too...

Dammit, I AM that bitch. I cannot be faded in any way, shape, form, or fashion, and I mean that shit with all that is in me. First of all, let it be known that I HATE puke. You know why I refused to work in Clinical Microbiology? Why I'll damn near let myself DIE before going to ER? That's why. Grown folks puking and shitting. I can't tolerate it under any circumstances. I hate people who puke near me. You wanna get injured for reals, come puke in my presence. I don't want to think about it, I don't want to hear it, and I damn sure dont want to see it. I mean, you are taking your life into your own hands if you puke by me. I'll be ready to mercilessly stomp the shit outta you, after you're done, because if you get any on my shoes I'll have to kill you. Point blank. I don't care that puking implies that you're ill. It also implies that you're grossing me the fuck out. Don't ask me why, I have no clue. But there is something about nausea that sends me into an insane, violent rage. I've only thrown up on 3 occasions in my whole damn life, and I wanted to kick my OWN ass. Now that we've got some background into the complex psyche of Her Imperial Majesty's inability to tolerate puke, I spent most of last night with UB. Who has food poisoning from some damn chicken salad. Need I say more? I didn't beat his ass, although I had to go stand in a corner and count to ten and do breathing excercises in the living room like the 3rd time. But I took care of him. I changed the bed, cleaned the bathroom with all kinds of bleach and Lysol, sprayed shit down. Went grocery shopping. Did I mention I didn't kill him for being about to hurl by me? I am SO hardcore, y'all have no damn idea. So yeah. I AM that bitch. Go 'head and add Florence F'in Nightingale Nurse Almighty to my long illustrious title, right after Macaroni Masta: *royal trumpets sound off like the Imperial Margarine Commercial from the 80's* Her Imperial Majesty: The Almighty Antagonistic, Marvelously Malicious, Supremely Sexy, Masta of Macaroni, Florence F'in Nightingale Nurse Almighty, MiniMee-MistyMarie, Neighborhood Queen (reigning supreme, Bow Down Nigga!). Hah. Y'all wish you had a bad ass title like that. But you don't. Thats why I'm the shit and you are not. I am so tired though. I didn't leave until he fell asleep. I probably slept 3 hours max. And I'm going back over there this afternoon because he didn't go to work today. So he's all sick and shut in. So thus shall be my weekend until he gets better. In closing I would like to declare that Destiny's Child ain't got shit on me. Cater 2 u??? Hah. Whatever. Fuck a bath and some shoestrings and cufflinks. Go clean up some grown ass man's puke, then subsequently clean his apartment running off a cup of noodles for lunch and a couple hours sleep straight from work, then come talk to me. Until then, you cant see me, heffa! I reign SUPREME. Time for work. I gotta get outta here quick like. I've got a man to take care of. I'm out.