This just in...

Scarecrow is no longer Scarecrow. GC, lemme tell you, man... prior to this announcement, he wasn't on Whoopi status... I mean, honestly, there was no certifiable description that would do that nap-fest justice. Just know it disgusted the hell outta Her Imperial Majesty. That being said, I don't know who talked to his ass, but the nigga forked out them naps into a lovely 'fro. He must have done it this morning or something. Naw, you know what? Ain't nobody talked to him... I've got mind control over the men around me. Yep. That's what it is. My ultimately sexy mind control convinced him that them naps wasn't the business. And now, he has transmogrified himself into a presentable Black Man, as opposed to a walking breathing JC Penny or Gap "Diversity Conscious" Ad. Reigning supreme, indeed. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go stare and make sure I'm not seeing things. I'm out.