It's precious...

the time I can sit on my ass... It's becoming more and more sparce as time goes on. Therefore I only have time to make a couple of announcements: 1. Happy Birthday to the most Kick Ass Now and Ask Questions Later, The woman that never feared Child Protective Services, The woman that ain't scared to choke out her firstborn daughter over some slimy gang bangin ass nigga and then proceeds to head to HIS house to finish the job, The woman that drove a Hyundai Excel through Nickerson Gardens to find the niggas that jacked her 12 year old son for his bus tokens, The woman that threatened to kill the crackhead that stole our bikes and sat on the front porch with her homie's loaded .45 for about four hours after standing on the corner with said unconcealed weapon for an hour straight, The woman that turns a flip-flop into a Ninja Star in 0.2 seconds, The woman with impeccable aim that can turn wooden spoons, napkin holders, water bottles, and anything else lying around into deadly weapons, The most OG, Gangsta, Slightly Temporarily Insane, Watts Native turned Housewife turned Business Suit Wearing Pimpstress of the West Coast... The Imperial Momma. I couldn't have a better momma. All the beatings and chokings I got, I deserved. I'd certainly be DEAD if Moms didn't keep her foot in my ass. I've said it once, and I'll say it again... I'm the shit because she MADE me be the shit. If I ever become 1/8 the woman she is, I'll be doin damn good. I love you Momma... you're too gangsta for me. Second announcement: He's still sexy. Lawd. But I ain't gonna talk about it every day. I just had to let you all know that he didn't get un-sexy overnight... a la SC. But I'mma leave him alone. Ahh shit. I had another announcement, but now I gotta go do the damn environmental monitoring. I may be back, I may not. I'll holla.