Random Date Watch 2004

Man, this is some scary shit. Okay, here's the deal for y'all who missed it yesterday (and are too lazy to scroll down, I ain't mad at cha), I'm trying to be, uh, more pro-active in the search for a date that is not ex-Baby. So I went home after work, did the face up, oiled up the cornrows and actually put on some decent clothes that didn't look like I was going to school (or to work in a damn herbs and spices plant). Gave myself the quick once over, and out I went. I opted to go to some kinda eating establishement first. I usually have less run ins with the WoMen of the Rainbow in ultra crowded establishments. So I went to the hood fabulous Friday's in Ladera, or bka Magic Fridays. Bad MF'n Idea. Awww man, lawd hammercy... the crustaceous conceited cretans that inhabit that damn area... the whole area of Ladera Heights should be burned to the ground, leveled, and made into a homeless shelter or something more functional to the community. I see why I never go there. The most pretentious, stuck up and BROKE fools who live w/ they momma (and shit, so do I, but at least I'm not trying to be bourgie about the shit) and drive a car that costs as much as a damn house note each month frequent that spot. I initially panicked, and headed for the driveway. But my dumb ass convinced myself that it was just the parking lot, and the inside couldn't be that bad. Dead. Wrong. I shoulda followed my first mind and shook. If the parking lot was bad, this shit was worse. Now first of all, I don't go out alone... period. So I was doing some to even try this. The first thing that stepped to me was a 33 year old man with 2 gold teeth, goin on and on about how he "seen them long and delicious legs from way 'cross the parking lot". *shiver* Damn... just uhhhll. That should tell you what I was in for out the gates. I politely shrugged him off, got me a seat, and ordered up some snacks for my damn self. One of the Broke Kings United (BOOOO) from outside followed me in the place, and reached for a chicken wing. Fucker. Anyway, feel the wackness below: Him: Ay Ma, you was lookin damn good in the drop. So you a Zeta? Me: Thanks, and yeah. Him: Oh okay, you know, I'm a Kappa (as if I couldn't tell, nigga looked like a damn Soul Train stop sign or something with all that glistening ass hair, all that damn red on, and the pendant on his chain). But I got mad love for anyone fine as you. And I mean you look damn sexy. You know, diamonds are a girls best friend, Ma. Think about it. Me: *snickering, trying not to die laughing* Uh, thank you for the compliment. Thats nice of you to say. Him: So what'chu doin alone? You need to let a brotha like me kick it. Me: Quick question babe. How old are you? Him: I'm 22, Ma. At that point I completely lost interest. ex-Baby is 24 and the nigga still got his head in his ass. So there's no way in the flamingest of hells that I was steppin down by 2. And the infamous ex-Baby, who landed me in this dateless predicament with his assholitude, decided to call me right then. So I used that as an excuse to send ol preschool Kappa "man" on his way. The night pretty much went like that. I was petrified at the crust that approached me, all under the age of 25, or over the age of 32. There was no one in my preferred age range. If they were there, the damn Geritol and Playskool mafia scared they ass off. So yeah. Shit sucked, man. Final score day 1: Shit-ass Holiday Party: 1 Almighty Neighborhood Queen (Reigining Supreme but obviously not last night): 0 And to make today suck, I'm freezing. I'm afraid of the cold, in case you didn't know. I have on a hat, INSIDE the damn lab. And I don't care, I ain't taking it off either. I've got on a turtleneck (which I hate, because I'm clostrophobic in these things), but I don't want my neck to be cold. I've got on stockings under my pants. I've got on socks. And I had on a scarf, but I had to take it off, wouldn't fit with the lab coat. I used to clown moms for putting shit on like this, but damn if I didn't nigga-rig myself like moms today! I can't wash my car because it's freezing. I can't go to the car wash because there's old men waiting to bother me there too. Winter is ruining my life. I need summer to hurry up and come back so I can go back to being fine every day without effort and thought, LOL. Man, I think I've spent enough time updating the crappyness of last night. I'mma go do some work. No mandate. I'm still too traumatized. I will be back at it tonight, if I recover. Ugh. I'm out.