Bi-Centennial

"Broadcasting live and direct from the land of Stanky Spaghetti Smellin' Employees and Echinacea-borne Misery from Above... we present to you Her Imperial Majesty, The Sole Ruler and Monarch of the Imperial Kingdom of Mistyland, Compton CA, Westside of the West Coast, Some Country, Some Continent on God's Green Earth. " *insane applause* Thats right, my loyal subjects, peasants, and members of the IC... this is the 200th post of the Imperial Blog that you all know and love. And would pledge your allegiance to if so required in a battle of the blog-countries. Well maybe not. But you'd better not tell me that. Anyway, in light of today I have a special announcment. Will the artist known as Van Hunt please stand. I hereby induct thee into the Hall of Illustrious Kingdom Musicians. Go and take your seat next to Tony Toni Tone, Do or Die f/ Kanye, and all of the beloved musicians of Hallowed Antiquity (or the 60's and 70's). Y'all, I love that CD now. See, what happened was, I forced myself to listen to the whole thing, no cut no chaser. I thought that since I actually paid for this CD, I was gonna love it or die trying. I locked myself in the room with 5 tamales, a pitcher of red Kool-Aid, and my World Class Chocolate ice cream. I put the do-rag on, fluffed the pillows, and got down w/ Van Hunt. And I can truly say that there are only 2 songs I can do without (although I can't remember them right now). Something about the opening verse of song #8 "Precious" had me damn near crying in my Kool-Aid. But you know I didn't go out like that. I held it down and ate my tamales. But I'm loving Van Hunt right about now, and that is the Royal Final Verdict. Next order of business. I'm a sucka. Well not completely. But I think I'mma take ex-Baby back. I'm really on some "don't wanna be without him" shit. I'm scaring myself. I saw him last night before he went to work, looking all sexy and smelling like Dolce and Gabanna. I was cordial (I don't want him to know he's got me all broke down just yet), but I kept a cool distance. I don't know, y'all. See, this time, I'm 100% right. He's being an ass. And it isn't fair for me to reward his assitude. But damn. Dolce and Gabanna??? He pulled out the heavy artillery. So needless to say, to be continued, MF's. Next: I have the Imperial Stang back, and it's looking sexy as ever. So stay outta my way today, I feel like driving fast. This Royal Edict extends to the 105 east and west, 91 west, 110 North and South, and any other freeway I feel like driving on (obviously the 405 and the 605 are exluded from this list). In conclusion: You already know this isn't going to be the only post. Because I stay bored and shirking all responsibility. As far as the morning mandate: I hereby order everyone under my rule to find a corner and pray (or quietly meditate if you ain't down w/ Jesus, to which I say "awww man") for 60 seconds. This is because, for reals, there are a lot of people with problems out there (maybe you?). And folks allow their problems to manifest into their stankin' attitudes, and then we all end up stompin' on each others last good nerve. And then I end up cussin folks out and stuff like that. So pray for patience, peace in your own life, and for everyone else to have some too. Don't hog all the peace for yourself, suckas. And I'm also re-mandating the manditory silence within 5 miles of the Queen rule. Because I have a headache. You are all dismissed, that is all. The Queen has mandated it, and y'all shall make it so.