Oh so cold...
In response to the previous post concerning my ignorant ass nightmares, I have been informed by more than two people that I'm not supposed to eat before I go to bed. Cold business. Lemme make something painstakingly, crystal, cubic zirconially clear: MISTY LOVES TO EAT. It doesn't matter what time it is, where I am, who I'm with. If you ask am I hungry, 99.9% of the time I will reply in the affirmative. I can eat my giant ass brother under the table on a good day. I'm vicious at a buffet. I live for snacks. Your snacks, my snacks, his or hers. They're all at my mercy. Get caught slippin', your ice cream sandwich will come up missing. Although this could be a result of the fact that I've been trying to gain weight since July 2, 1994. Hasn't worked yet, in case you were wondering. I know. Tragic indeed. All I see are videos with all these "thick" broads... and that by far ain't me. But I'm dealing with it. I've got no shortage of men (albeit sorry ones, needy ones, and stalkalistic playas) so I guess I'm not doing too bad in the ass department. Seems to be one of my best attributes (or something). Let's light a candle for my missing 10 pounds. And by the way don't even try to threaten (or comfort, depends on what side you're taking, LOL) me with some arbitrary age where I'm gonna blow up to the size of Texas. I already know it ain't going down. I've had that threat levied at me by all my, uh, plus size relatives on BOTH SIDES OF THE FAMILY. So I ain't scared. The only thing to save me may be childbirth, and God is the only one who knows when that's gonna happen, so there. Anyways, back to my dillema. If you're really, positively, absolutely telling me that if I eat before I go to bed that I'll have crazy, stupid dreams that piss me off rather than scare me, then I guess I'd better start sleeping in the daytime. Either that or wear boxing gloves to bed. Because I cannot give up the ultra sexiness that is the Chocolate Mousse Royale (mmmm.. I can taste the love, y'all) at 10:00 pm. Never! So I guess I'm doomed for another stupid night then. Oh well, so much for my deep psychological introspection. My psychosis is a result of the ice cream. Blah. I'm gonna feel sorry for myself on my way to the snack machine in the lunchroom. I'm out.
posted by MiniMee at 2:14:00 PM
3 Comments:
Its gonna be trouble....TROUBLE...I'll keep you posted
i really love to eat too. i think its cause i have a pretty small appetite. i'll eat, get full quick, and then want to eat an hour or so later. i guess that's good though, i always read that the body functions best when you eat small amounts throughout the day as opposed to just breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
and fuck 94, i've been tryin to gain weight FOREVER. i've always been known as the skinny one. i've been puttin on the pounds since this new job though, so i'm on my way! :)
See, you feel me then! I am the skinny one of the family, no cut no chaser. There is no one, on either side of the family smaller than me.
You go Reef, get them pounds! I'm still working on it with this peach cobbler, LOL.
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