And I will never breathe again...

breathe again... breathe again... Damn. Who does a sista have to murder to get some air? I mean, really. I haven't been able to breathe with ease for two weeks. I am miserable times infinity. I'm thinking that this place kills off it's microbiologists, and we've got enough immune system to last a year. If thats the case, then I'm in trouble. I miss deep breaths. I miss talking without going into a cough-seizure-fit-thang. I miss sleeping without the fear of the 1:00 a.m. choke-cough fest that has taken place nightly for two weeks, irrespective of how much codeine-laden prescribed cough syrup I ingest, Tylenol NightTime cold medicine, NyQuil, etc. BLAH, y'all. On the real. Round 2: Queenie vs. Fam-Mafia: Q= 2.5 FM= 0.5 Man, Sunday night they pulled out the big guns. Moms nutted up on me something too real. She fell asleep around 8:30 (old lady time), and was knocked out. A tornado wouldn't have budged her. I know, because I tried before I left. Anyways, my guy called me around 9:30, so I let my sister know what was crackin, and walked next door to kick it. I figured I'd stay until about 1:45 a.m. (I did have to work the next day). If I go to bed by 2 a.m., I'll be able to drive semi-concsious the next day. Well about 1:40 a.m. who chirps me but Momma. On some, "When are you coming home?" type mess. So I tell her, "I'm coming home right now, is something wrong?" Of course she says, "I want to talk to you Misty Marie," in her infamous Momma of Death voice. She was fully awake too, so I knew I was in trouble. As soon as I walk through the door, a barrage of cuss words hit me in the face. She had sat there long enough to get all worked up. I didn't say nothing, just stared at her. When she quit going off on me about "slithering outta his house late at night and no one knows where I am" (not so, because Nisha was watching TV and I told her ass where I was going... what's up w/ that???) and how it looks to her, and how it would look to the neighbors I said "I. Dont. Care." Just like that. Because I'm old as fuck. I'm not disrespecting anyone in the house or outside of it. If some crackhead is watching me at 2 am, then they see whatever the hell they see. I don't give a shit. Well, she continues to go off after I told her I don't care. Then she paused, and I said, "I haven't done anything wrong. You know my intent is never to bring shame and dishonor on this family. But I have not done anything wrong, and I will maintain that for as long as this continues." Then I shut up and continued to stare right in her face. I didn't back down, or express any remorse for anything I've done, because I haven't done shit. Eventually she calmed down and started talking all calm. I was ultra pissed at her for coming at me all psychotic... that ain't even her style. I'd rather she just swung on me or something. All that cussing, and I can't cuss back (I'll be damned if I disrespect my momma in her own house) is enough to give me a stroke. I felt the veins bulging outta my neck and I wanted to scream. But I did good. The thing is, I don't care if no one likes him. That ain't my fuckin' problem. Nothing I do should be their problem, but they make it so. Oh well, deal with it then. Because I'mma do what I want to do. I've been the best daughter I could be. And she knows it. Every time she sees the degree on the wall, she knows it. Every time I come straight home from work, she knows it. Every Friday night that I'm home with them instead of going out getting drunk, she knows it. She knows where I could be and what I could be doing... and its the exact opposite of what I am now. So if they wanna shit bricks over me going next door, then thats a personal problem, and it ain't mine. They will gradually learn that, or they'll be in the hospital with strokes from fucking with me. I don't fight anymore, I just look at them until they shut up. Then they feel stupid. I hate being mad at my fam. They know I want to do the right thing, but I swear. They piss me off so bad sometimes. Well I'm being worked to death once more so I'm out. The mandate for today is everyone needs to stay inside. The weather sucks ass, and the death cooties are going around. Save yourselves. Hide and drink orange juice. And eat at Carls Jr. (well that ain't gonna help, but all they burgers are the SHIT!) That is all. The Queen has mandated it, and it shall be so.