Insightful Revelations after Lunch... The First One in a Long Ass Time

So I might as well start back from numero uno.

On the eve of the most Sacred Holiday on the Westside of the West Coast, I had this revelation while sitting in the Chariot with the top down under a tree (damn I love Cali. Too bad the Prime Minister of Bolivion hates it. Poor guy.).

I'm gonna open a Rehab Center for my folks.

Because the Queen is an addict of many things (Step 1: coming out of denial). Yes I know you all cannot believe that the Almighty Antagonistic, Marvelously Malicious MiniMee-MistyMarie, Neighborhood Queen (Reigning Supreme) is an addict. But it is true, my subjects. I can admit it now. And to prove to you all how "out of denial" I am, here is a little list.

Her Imperial Majesty's itty-bitty list of addictions:

1. Strawberry Soda 2. Wheat Thins 3. Dick 4. Sleep 5. That Cambell's soup you can sip on in the red cup 6. This blogging shit 7. Did I mention getting some? 8. Burning CD's and playing them hella loud. 9. Niggas in wife-beaters. 10. Macaroni and Cheese (Reddy, you will be executed if you touch the sacred 'roni. I luv ya girl, but not that much, LMAO)

Yeah, that's a short list. But as you can see, I need rehab. Particularly for my Wheat Thins addiction. That shit is starting to cost me money. I ate two big boxes in three days (while sitting under the tree at lunch, remarking how much this place smells like we.ed). I am gonna open my own center, then check myself in. You're all welcome to pay me a whole grip of money to get over your various addictions in the Imperial Kingdom Center for Kicking Stupid (non-crack-related, because that's not stupid, that's major) Addictions Square Dead in the Ass Forever. And yeah, that's the whole name. I'mma put it on the front of the building, just like you see it here. Just wait til I open that mutha. All y'all gonna be trying to get in.

I just realized that I'm gonna be at work on my birthday. This is gonna suck all kinds of ass. I'm doomed to have a boring ass 25th. More on that tomorrow I'm sure, as I'm stuck here when I should be somewhere drinking and acting a straight ASS at 1:15 in the afternoon. Oh well, C'est La Vie. Lemme get my ass back to work before I arouse the suspicions of the Man. Viva La Half-Ass! Aiight, I'm out.