And its about that time!

Come on everybody! It’s time to sit on our asses and complain with the Almighty Antagonistic, Mercilessly Malicious MiniMee-MistyMarie, Neighborhood Queen (Reigning Supreme)! YAY!   *extends scepter* Welcome, all my wonderful subjects, peasants, and members of the Imperial Court. It is time to lounge with I, the Sole Monarch of the Imperial Kingdom. Well actually, I can’t lounge too long. I have quite a bit of work to do today. I have a few minutes to waste before lunch, and then once I come back from lunch it’s on and crackin. Not that I’m upset about it. Yesterday I wanted to pass out and die. I hadn’t been that bored in a really long time. I’m not too bored today, thank the Good Lord.   On another note, I’m in crucial pain. Unfortunately, the Royal bra strap is slicing mercilessly into my shoulder. I loosened it up, and it isn’t helping. That means one thing, Imma have to come up outta this biatch. I’m trying to be a good girl, but when is enough truly enough? Right now, that’s when. As soon as I finish this, I’m heading to the bathroom to get rid of this torture device. Then I’mma throw it away when I get home. Because nothing should hurt like this for the sake of decency. To hell with decency.   I know, TMI. But this is my Imperial Blog, so deal with it.   I’m about to protest arching my eyebrows for at least 2 weeks. I’m sick to death of getting them snatched up offa my face, and I’m sick of attacking myself with the tweezers when I don’t want the pain of the wax massacre. My carpal tunnel hates tweezers, and it assails me without ceasing for about 4 days after using tweezers. I thought about this today. What in the almighty damn am I doing this for? As of right now, I’m still single, so my immaculate eyebrows aren’t doing anything for me in that respect. I work in a lab with old Chinese dudes who can give a flying shit about my eyebrows, so sexy eyebrows are useless yet again. The only people who ever come up to me are bums, thugs (dirty ones, not the kind I like), and lesbians. So if my eyebrows are attracting that kinda attention, then I don’t think I want to keep them up.   Basically, I’m lazy and I have a low tolerance for minor pain. Now if I burn myself, get stabbed or shot (all of which has happened to me, LMAO), I’m superwoman. No tears or noise from me. But try to snatch some hot wax shit off my face, and I’m gonna jump and my eyes are gonna water. I’m no longer seeing the Pros in this eyebrow arching thing. Only Cons. I attract trash. My face hurts either way, and my hands hurt if I do it myself. What’s the damn point? There isn’t one from what I can see.   Senior citizens need their own driving lane, a specific time to be allowed on the road, and some kinda screening system needs to be set up to bar them from entering the Freeway.   This morning I was late to work because every Granny in the CPT wanted to be on the road this morning. And I don’t cuss out the elderly, so I’m basically fighting off having a stroke at 8:00 in the morning. When I got here, I could see my veins bulging in my neck. Scared me to death. I had to call my momma (I always do that when something’s wrong with me). All I gotta say is, old folks don’t need to drive. I don’t care what anyone says. At least not in the morning or during rush hour. BLAH to all them ol’ folks.  And now, the Queen issues the following edict. Be advised of the following: 

The List for Imperial Execution Row on 07-21-04:

Alicia Keys (I’m sick of “If I don’t have you” or whatever that damn song is called.) Power 106 DJ’s (except the one who does West Coast Wednesdays) Ma$e (for that damn Welcome Back Kotter rip-off and his sorry, lame ass lyrics. No mase, I don’t like that at all.) My former employers at the Amistad (for not processing my final check when they shoulda, and I’m just getting my money after threats of coming back up there). G-Unit (because I’m sick of that damn “Fire” song. It SUCKS ASS. Bottom line.) 213 (for the Groupie Love song. What happened to the old Warren G? I miss you, man. Regulator foreva!) Tha Goodfellas offa Power 106 (for thinking they can sang. They SUCK. The End.) 

Edit @ 2:30: Young Rome and his former group Immature, or Imx, or who-gives-a-crap (for just being lame in general. Pointed out by Brotha GC.) 

I think that list is long enough… time to get back to work for about 30 minutes. So go do it! You already know whats up, but if you forgot: The Queen has mandated it, and it shall be so. And with that, I’m out.